An Empty Husk of a Church
late night reflections
There goes another one. Another friend not only leaving the church, but leaving their credentials behind. After having fought, sacrificed, and bled for the church, they are walking away. From God, I don’t know. But from my old brand of church, indeed.
If I’m remembering right, we had conversations about other options. That there were other spaces. And the answer to that proposition was “never, I can’t leave them. I need to stay.” It made me sad, because I knew the pain that comes from holding on with all your fingernails when leadership is standing around holding the clippers.
Do they even notice when we leave? I’m starting to think not. But I just can’t help but wonder what’s left behind. We are the ones calling you to stretch your faith, to live it when it’s hard. We’re the ones inviting you into more grace, and more light. But we’re the ones you reject. So what’s left?
I keep seeing all this stuff about the #asburyrevival. I’m absolutely in the skeptical pews (Especially having studied group think and unconscious group behavior.). Is God doing something, maybe? Is it all “organic” and “authentic” - I mean sure, if group think and peer pressure are what you’re going for. As I saw in another clip today - I’ve been on the consumer side and I’ve been turning the crank making the revival sausage. If all this event does is refill the pews because you got tired of the people calling you to get your hands dirty with Jesus religion, well…that doesn’t change the church much. It’s just a new supply of youthful energy to help keep things running.
And that really troubles me. Does this lead to another batch of 20 somethings getting used up for Jesus? I’m old enough now that I can’t even imagine how I ran at the pace the church had me going at in my 20s. It’s seriously unfathomable. And yet I did it. And now, I have chronic illness and trauma that honestly make life really difficult some days. And I am not alone. I hear this story from so many GenXers and older millennials. Especially from women.
The church is a husk because there’s not real life there. They act like death eaters - sucking us dry and willingly discarding us when we start to think for ourselves and start to see a bigger world. Pulling life from new members but not being transformed by them. Then, when we start to love our friends and family, and decide that maybe shunning them because they are different isn’t what Jesus would do. When we realize that 10 or 20 years of friendship that were only based on one thing - loving the church the way I do - is hollow and cheap. That’s not life. That’s emptiness.
A revival won’t save the church unless the hearts of those that have been there for decades also change. If they keep watching from the pews and waiting for God to bring new young blood, they might get it, but they won’t get life. They’ll just keep recycling the old, abusive, harmful patterns like - disown your parents if they won’t convert, hide yourself away from the world, harass everyone you know for Jesus, sacrifice your life to service and we promise he’ll take care of you, etc.
Young Revivalees, please be careful. Please be thoughtful. Please don’t walk away from all your plans because of prayer meeting. I am really happy for you if God is meeting you in your life. That is awesome!! And it can be life changing. But please don’t discard the experiences of those deconstructing. Read our stories, and then make wise decisions about your future.
You don’t have to give up your major and run to seminary. God can use you in many other ways that are just a legit as ministry. It is VERY, VERY hard to make a living if you have no other skills than ministry. It’s not a merit badge or reward, it’s a life of poverty. Please keep studying and have a plan for how to live in a world that has changed significantly since your professors and pastors did this.
Feeling let down after this and recalibrating to life is NORMAL. Not failure. God hasn’t left you. You didn’t do anything wrong. Living in a heightened emotional state is not normal. Learning how to incorporate what you learned or heard from God is good. But it doesn’t mean you have to abandon everything you were doing. If someone tells you it does, get other opinions.
Retreating into a Christian bubble is not a requirement for being a dedicated, compassionate, and loving Christian. If you want to change the world, stay involved in the world. We need compassionate and loving voices in politics, in education, in organizing, in corporations. Showing up in loving and kind ways is revolutionary in the world we’re in. I promise you, if you live like that consistently, you have a much bigger impact that if you are constantly trying to bait and switch everyone around you. Just love people and see how Jesus shows up.
You don’t have the only answer. I’ve been there. I’ve got and Apologetics Queen card in my keepsakes. But being a Christian, especially a certain label of Christian is not in the Bible. There are so many beautiful kinds of believers in the world. And the camaraderie, joy, and influence you can have when you partner with other Christians and with dedicated people from other religions is beautiful. You may have found a really meaningful path; but make sure you let others walk with you, just the way they are. It opens up a whole new world of opportunities when you partner with others instead of excluding them.
I hope, for the sake of the church, that it moves beyond being just a husk. But sometimes the best we can do with a husk is crinkle it up and compost it. Then it can help something brand new spring forth. And church, if you keep throwing us out and refuse to change, then I hope this new influx of youth with trample you to the ground so something new can spring forth. May it be so.