Faith Mending is an invitation into conversation about meaning-making, faith, and healing through the process of deconstructing, editing, and/or remodeling our religious beliefs. Feel free to watch as this space evolves over time. We’ll hope to see you participate when it’s right for you.
What does beloved community mean to you?
Jason:
We’re going to spend a lot of time over the next few weeks talking about beloved community. For many of us who have felt like we’ve been on the outside looking in, beloved community is a promise and an ideal. It’s a stance toward the world that says we are enough, there is enough, and all should share in it. Beloved community was a phrase Dr. King described in the 1960s at that particular flashpoint of racial tension. The King Center describes beloved community as,
“...a global vision, in which all people can share in the wealth of the earth. In the Beloved Community, poverty, hunger and homelessness will not be tolerated because international standards of human decency will not allow it. Racism and all forms of discrimination, bigotry and prejudice will be replaced by an all-inclusive spirit of sisterhood and brotherhood. In the Beloved Community, international disputes will be resolved by peaceful conflict-resolution and reconciliation of adversaries, instead of military power. Love and trust will triumph over fear and hatred. Peace with justice will prevail over war and military conflict.”
The King Center, “The King Philosophy”
So much of this vision is pertinent today. And, it seems like a pipe dream rather than a potential reality. Whether political or ecclesial (churchy), conflict abounds and communities where we can be-loved are few and far between.
The world we’ve created (or allowed to be created) is one of power and control, exclusion and demonization, for or against. There is a great set of binaries we are taught to live by or believe in when the world is full of grays (or greys).
The funny thing about beloved community is that there is no us or them. They are places where we can be-loved and be-loving. Places where we recognize that we all have value; we all have the potential to do great things; we all deserve decency, dignity, and respect.
Otherwise, what’s the point…
Janel:
For me, Beloved Community is a mix of feeling and function. It’s about feeling safe and welcome, it’s about being invited into something new, and it’s about authenticity and co-creation. Leaning into each other through listening and responding instead of judging are key aspects to experiencing a beloved community. When everything is predetermined, black and white, and full of mandates, it stops being community and often reflects ego, abusive behaviors, and systemic rigidity.
It took me a long time to figure that out. Honestly, it’s very hard to see some of these toxic behaviors when you’re in the midst of them. If you are starting to look back and feel a bit crazy, you’re not alone. Identifying a healthy, authentic, and engaged community is hard to do when you’ve never seen it before.
I think, looking back, before I even got to that place of the awareness of deeper systems at play, I found a community that just let me show up and be myself. I think my soul just needed a place to belong. I was performing to expectations 3-4 days a week at my traditional church. But then, for a few hours a week, I was able to go to another church where I could just show up and participate. I made friends. I could sit at a table and just talk without fear of judgment. I was included in planning events where the outcome wasn’t predetermined.
That church experience was life changing for me. When you come from an environment where everything you do is under a microscope, including whether or not you’re dedicated enough or working hard enough, being allowed to sit in a pew and just be myself was miraculous. While it’s easy to glamorize something in hindsight, I really do believe that being in that space taught me the most about being in a beloved community.
Everything wasn’t handed to me. Making friends took effort. Showing up was my choice. How deeply I wanted to participate was up to me. I wish I could tell you what made it so different. Beloved community sounds about right. People came around me, met me in the midst of my uncertainty and loved me in those moments. It was an environment where they guided me and helped me grow. It was a beautiful time of life and I will always cherish it.
Beloved Community means authenticity, openness, love, kindness, care for others, growth, introspection, and creativity. Beloved Community means wading in and getting to know the people around you. Beloved Community means taking seriously the call to love your neighbor as yourself and to treat others the way you want to be treated. To dance with your community - leading and following each other with great care as we seek to live out the call to love one another.
When have you experienced a time of beloved community?
When I think about or imagine beloved community, it’s a mutuality thing. I can only be my full self if I am willing to allow you to show up as the same. It’s a whole relational power thing. I affect others having first been affected by them. I show up, listen first, then seek to respond.
Jason:
It’s hard to find places that just let me be myself. I often feel so out there in what I believe that I think others won’t want to hear what I have to say. At the same time, I still try and haunt the edges of Christianity enough to be both a creative force and a thorn.
There aren’t many spaces that will put up with you long enough to let you be both.
The closest I’ve come is with Juniper Formation. It’s diverse, creative, supportive, and challenging. When I am with the small community I can expect to be both heard and challenged. And, I am expected to hear others and challenge them as well.
Certainly, there were other spaces throughout my life, but very few allowed me to be me; allowed me to question, be sarcastic, be pissed, be fed up, be creative, be spirit-led, and be both energized and done with it all. So many of the spaces I entered and left wanted me to conform first, before I could be accepted.
When I think about or imagine beloved community, it’s a mutuality thing. I can only be my full self if I am willing to allow you to show up as the same. It’s a whole relational power thing. I affect others having first been affected by them. I show up, listen first, then seek to respond. In that space power and love become additive rather than bargained or bartered for. It’s hard to develop community in that way, harder still to maintain it.