It Doesn't Have To Be Perfect
As Jason talked about, it’s been a busy season for both of us. For those that know me personally, I was ordained in December. This was an amazingly joyful experience and one that took a lot of reflection and thought to fully grasp what was happening.
I was ordained by a group of interfaith leaders who have gathered around and helped me reorient after my ministry path drastically changed. My perfect plan didn’t work out.
It has actually turned out better - in ways I could never have imagined.
And that speaks into something that’s been on my mind. I’m not exactly sure it’s deconstruction specific, but it's something I just can’t get away from. Everyone - from children to adults - wants to get it (whatever it is) right on the first try.
I’m in a really delightful crafting group on Facebook where I see some of the most amazing, creative art I’ve ever seen. But frequently those posts are accompanied by the disclaimer that the creator feels it falls short because they didn’t get it right on the first try. And often it’s followed up with - well then maybe I should quit.
Then this week I was on a video call with my niece. And at a newly minted 7, she already has this. She was trying to do a new craft alone, couldn't read the instructions, and went to throw her first attempt in the trash because she couldn’t figure it out the first time. It wasn’t perfect.
Now, before you think I only see this in others, you should know that I had this disease for a long time. And sometimes I still do. But I’ve had to learn to let that go for my own health. There is nothing that says we should be able to do something perfectly the first time.
There is nothing that says we should be able to do something perfectly the first time.
And maybe this is where the intersection happens. We don’t even have to get our faith right on the first try. And, if we break that out a little more - what does it even mean to get our faith right?
I think for some of us that has meant being the best Christian we can be. Doing all the right things. Growing in grace. Sinning less and less. For me, it probably doesn’t help that my tradition talked about perfection in terms of holy living. But I’ve heard people from other traditions talk about this desire in similar language.
So why do we want to be able to do something perfect the first time?
Why do we think we should be able to do things perfectly the first time?
Where is that message coming from?
In the journey of Faith Mending, we have experimented with how we are doing this. It’s actually been a relief to work on this with open expectations and plans. This is something I’m learning in other parts of my life as well. Learning, shaping, and changing are all valid experiences in life that help us be better humans. No one is perfect. No one starts out perfect. We all develop over time.
I think I just want to encourage us all, as we start the new year, to let go of perfect. Let go of instant success. Let go of instant beauty. What would it mean to enter our year and continue on our faith and creative journeys with the idea of cultivating goodness, being content with enough, and allowing ourselves to grow into perfection instead of demanding it immediately?
Perfection, if it is necessary, takes time.
I’m not saying don’t do your best, or don’t try to improve. I am saying that it’s important to be gentle with yourself. To give yourself the grace you would give others; to trust that your effort matters. Your attempt is meaningful. And your new direction or perspective can lead to wholeness.
Try something new - whether a new craft, a new shirt, or a new way of practicing your faith. Read a new author. Visit a new website. Take a walk on a new path outside. Don’t load yourself down with expectations. Just give it a try and see what happens. And let that be enough. Step back from judgment and just breathe in the moment. It is good. That is enough.