I’ve spent the last 18+ months writing or editing what amounts to 1-minute sermons or prompts. It makes longer form storytelling difficult at times. There’s a kind of code switching that happens when I move from that space to any other, including this one.
The thing is, I know both are important. It’s meaningful to be direct and attempt to spark imagination and someone’s innate curiosity. It’s also important to have longer conversations and intentional time for reflection. That’s what this space is supposed to be for me, and I hope for you as well.
We’ve been quiet for a couple months here. For me, it coincides with the launching of ReFrame on a new technology platform (as well as a substack), a bout with Covid for our family, and a healthy dose of malaise toward the end of the year. I finally feel like I’m coming out of some of the things that weigh me down, but I’m not fully back yet.
I know Janel has had her own things to deal with during that same time. We’ve met off and on in these last couple months trying to get a handle on where we both are and what this space looks like this year. I think there is something alive at the intersection of personal experience and theology and practical living. That’s what interests me at the moment, and what I want to spend time exploring.
You see, for years worship hasn’t done it for me. I appreciate community. I know that relationships are vital for a healthy life and my own growth and formation. I just don’t experience God as meaningfully in those spaces. I also don’t begrudge those who do. There is a time and place for everything under the sun, or so the saying goes…
What I do miss is conversation about meaningful things. I miss sitting with people who are curious and wondering. An occupational hazard of working for yourself, at home, is the potential for loneliness. It’s dangerous for me to spend so much of my time with my thoughts as the only partner. That voice in my head can be both soothing and unsafe.
I long for a small group of people who’ll sit and have coffee and discuss theological, psychological, existential, and other really big things. Seminary didn’t prepare me for how hard it is to find those spaces in the wild.
Now that I’m more church adjacent than church active it’s even harder to find my people. So, instead I hustle. I move from space to space with little critical reflection. It’s blunting my curiosity and I’m not sure yet what to do about it.
So, for the moment, I just want to be curious. I want to reach out to a few folx and see what they believe they’re missing in life. For the longest time, faith was a mental exercise that tested my capacities for complexity. I’ve swung the other way in recent years to it being more of a habit and ritual (a habit with intention). Having grown tired of the companion in my head, I’ve sought to put what I believe into authentic action (hence, ReFrame).
Now, as a new year dawns, I want both. I want a healthy small community that challenges me to imagine and grow more curious, and I want a space that helps me feel accountable to acting out what I believe.
I’m curious where you’ve found this in your life. Who are your go to people for accountability and for challenging conversation?
If you have a moment, make a note in the comments or on a piece of paper around you. We often make faith about believing something when I imagine it’s more about being and becoming something together.