Why Does It Bother Me So Much

How our emotions and bodies respond to memory

Right before we left my old denomination, we visited a church in our new city that was not far from where we were planning to live. We went for service and it felt very traditional and normal. Soon after we moved, we left that path. But we still have to drive past that church.

Regularly, it turns out. During the last few months we’ve started a tradition of getting tacos on Fridays. The place where we pick them up takes us right past the church. Last week, my husband commented that he wished he didn't feel queasy every time we drove by. 

Same. Same.

What about our old life brings up those feelings of dread and nausea? What about our old lives makes it hard to even look in that direction? Could it be the remnants of indoctrination that told us if we ever left we’d be condemned to eternal suffering? That if we left we were out of God’s will? That if we left we’d never be on God’s first choice path for our life? 

Any of these sound familiar? Any of these sound abusive?

Photo by Daniel Tseng on Unsplash

This has led me to wonder about what it is that our bodies know, that our minds dismiss? My brain knows it should be no big deal to drive past that building. But my body tunes into something else. My body knows that it represents something that wasn’t healthy and good. Jason called this out really well in the Monday post.